Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Resolved!

I am a rule-maker and a list-maker, and am a very big fan of post-it notes. As of Monday, each time I open the pantry, a notecard greets me with a question: "Nic, have you eaten a fruit today"? And on the refrigerator is my exercise checklist, which reads: Curves, run, Curves, aerobics, Curves, cardio.

These two reminders are the result of some serious body image issues, issues that have nothing to do with my body and everything with what I am doing to it. I am no heftier or pudgier than I was one month ago, but in my mind I am. Due to car problems and motivation issues, my Curves attendance has been once a week instead of 3 times a week; due to snow, I am not walking; due to diss and job-related things, my mouth thinks it needs to be chomping all the time. And it is.

I can be quite disciplined when I want to be. I ask, "Nic, do you really want that trail mix?" And if the answer is no, I can usually turn away. But there are times when the "I deserves" or "I needs" trump this discipline, and this has been the case for the past month. What I am not getting in contentment and security I am getting in calories.

But no more. Those calories have been replaced by a lot of Extra Sugar-Free gum. I've been to Curves twice this week, and I ran on the treadmill yesterday. I am still struggling with snacking, and with a string of lows that make calorie consumption necessary, but I am trying to get this under control. I am resolved to do so.

2 comments:

Scott K. Johnson said...

Way to go Nic!

You can do it!

I find that this stuff, at least for me, is all about momentum.

You've turned that big ball of momentum back towards the positive, and each little step you take in the right direction keeps that momentum moving in the positive direction with more and more force.

Keep it up!

Kerri. said...

I LIVE on Extra Sugar-Free gum. The dark blue one ... what is that, wintermint? Whatever it is, I'm addicted to the stuff.

Great job on resolving to be resolute. Go Nic!!