I am tired -- forget-to-blink tired. I've taught at 8:30 am before but never before have I gotten up at 6 am to do so, in the dark that will only get darker. Never before have I been on the job market, finishing my dissertation, teaching, and having a social and spiritual life (social life, good; spiritual life, suffering).

I'd say never before have I been so worried about my diabetes, but that would not be true. I am worried, though. Over the long weekend, I traveled across two time zones and was exposed to a nasty cold virus. I think my average blood sugar was 250; yesterday, I didn't drop below 300 until 1 pm. Part of this was a faulty insertion sight, but my lingering highs today tell me not all of that was the case. And today I experienced my second, "is this the diabetic complication I've been waiting for moment" as shooting electricity-like pains visited the tops and bottoms of my feet.

I've made a doctor's appointment for the 29th. I'm going to ask my endo to write a letter to my insurance explaining my (I think just) need for a CGM. And I'm going to hope on the Minimed Real Time. And if I am so lucky as to be able to afford these things, I am going to sign myself up for some serious training. Because these highs and lows have got. to. stop.