I had a very interesting conversation with my insurance company today. Apparently, to get my new pump, I need to participate in something called a "Diabetes Advantage Program." I will get my pump and diabetes supplies free through this program, so I should be happy. Free is good.

But I have conflicted feelings about being forced to participate in this program. My sense is that this is actually a program intended to prevent diabetic complications. Since I'm all about preventing complications and all about insurance companies being active in preventative care, I like the idea in theory. This program entails a 24-hour free health helpline, access to educational programs, and check-in calls with a registered nurse every few months. Again, all good in theory. But when I am compelled to enroll in a program to get a new pump and when I am forced to answer a litany of questions ("What was your last A1C?" "How often in the last month would you say your health prevented you from doing something you enjoy?" "Are you on depression meds?") I feel like Big Brother is watching. And this I resent. Deeply.

I also resent being put on hold. Updating my address with one person. Then updating it again with another. And the same thing with my phone number.

And then, "Now, Ms. Nic. What color would you like your pump to be?" Whoa, Nellie.
"I already ordered my pump," I reply hesitantly. "With Minimed."
Silence.
"And they called yesterday to say it had been shipped and would be here Tuesday."
Says the Southern accent on the other end, "...well, that's unusual. Because the pump orders usually come through our program."
"I ordered clear," I say. And silently, I add, "I ordered clear twice, since I talked to two Minimed people."
"I have you down for a Paradigm 722?"
"No. I wanted a 522. I don't need 300 units of insulin."
"Hmm...it says 722 here."
I silently add, "Yes, I went through this twice with the Minimed people, too."

So now I'm waiting for the nice but bewildered insurance lady to sort things out with Minimed. Wondering if I'm getting one pump or two. Clear or purple. Charged once or twice. Or maybe I'll get one free? Because free is good.