I am having envy issues. I read blogs in which people say, "I'm so upset, I've worken up above 100 for three days in a row" or, "I've managed to stay between 80 and 120 for 5 days" and instead of saying, "yay" my response is an uncharitable "shut up." Because I am trying, trying so hard to reign in my blood sugars. Yet the more I try the worse things seem to be. For instance: After three days of running high I decided to do an all around basal hike. My numers warranted it. I moved conservatively, only upped each time by .5. So, what happens?
Well, my blood sugar overnight was consistent. As in, ranging a stead 240-300. As in, nothing below 200. So I corrected this morning and had my oatmeal and then began to plummet. Managed to stave off a low because of those handy double-arrows. And this afternoon I was steadily between 80 to 130, which would have had been dancing through the library aisles if not for the fact that steadiness was the result of a whole bottle of glucose tabs, consumed throughout the day; a Snicker's bar; and the handly little suspend function. The whole afternoon I had symptoms of a low even though I wasn't, and let me tell you, very little work got done. This is not good. Dissertation defense looms.
So I must confess I am having the "why me's?" And I hate that almost as much as I hate this disease.
4 comments:
The "Why me?!" is almost always lurking with this disease. Even though I sometimes think I've grown up and have accepted this disease in my life, there are moments when that ugly little 8-year-old rears it's ugly little head.
I understand where you're coming from completely though. I've both felt envious when I've read other blogs, and felt guilty when I've blurted out my joy at good blood sugars or (even worse) complained about seriously acceptable readings.
I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. My guess is that that looming dissertation defence could be the source of a lot of your issues. Other than that, a full-out, methodical set of basal rate tests might be in order.
Best of luck...
Major suckage. No two ways about it.
Here's to hoping you can figure out what's going on and get your feet underneath you again.
I just found your blog through Kevin's... it's great!
The frustrations of this illness are incredible, and for me at least they seem to come and go in waves. Here's hoping your wave is almost gone. :)
Good luck with that dissertation!
The first time I went to a diabetes support group, everyone there was bitching about their "high" blood sugars (in the 150-180 range). I felt like the crappiest diabetic ever, walked out, and avoided anything diabetes-related that might make me feel crappy (testing when I felt high, going to the endo, A1Cs, etc. etc.) for a good long while.
So, yeah: You are not alone. At all.
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