As diabetics, we have more health problems to worry about than most people. Or maybe I should say, we have the threat of health problems to worry about. Not only do we face possible complications with our eyes, kidneys, hearts, and feet, we face higher risk of everything from gum disease to skin infections to frozen shoulder.
And, I am deciding, we face a higher risk of hypochondriachism, the belief that there is something wrong when, in fact, it's all in our heads. When we're told that we could lose a foot if we have a wee little cut, who can really blame us? My imagination, for one, can run rampant.
And this poses a problem. Because, what it boils down to for me is my imagination versus the probability that I am probably a-okay. As in, yes, my shoulder hurts, but it's probably just me shoulder just hurting. Yes, maybe I should go to a doctor, but it's probably nothing. He will scorn at me (and I hate to say it, but it's always a "he" that scorns) and roll his eyes at another white, middle-class woman with too much time on her hands. But...maybe it is, say, frozen shoulder, and if I go now I won't need surgery later. And what these scenarios boil down to, for me, is a push-me-pull-you of paralyzing indecision about whether to seek medical attention. It's why I had a sinus infection for a month before I went to the doctor, because it had to be a cold, didn't it?
But this post really isn't about a shoulder or a sinus infection. It's about the fact that I am beat. Wiped out. Absolutely without energy. I have had a sore throat for 10 days; I am still trying to get my voice back; I am ready for bed at 7 pm. And while I am aware that yes, I am diabetic, and that it takes a while to recover (though I rarely, if ever get sick), and that yes, a viscious cold is going around, and that yes, I just did four interviews in 2 days and traveled to boot...I am a bit unsettled. Partiuclalry because I am clearly no longer fighting this bug like I was, as is clear from my low-to-normal blood sugars. So I waver. To doctor or not to doctor, that is the question.
Anyone else go through this fear-of-hypochondria, fear-of-mortal illness dilemma?